I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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