The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
