Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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