your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
