wake up i wanna do it froggy style
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
