forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I need to align my fucking chakras
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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