i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
wow bdsm is so cute
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