woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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