She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
