If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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