So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
well you can't waste a boner
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Even my vagina gasped.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
