the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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