i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
