Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
