there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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