I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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