LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Blood and glitter go together right?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize
