What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
