Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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