Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
