Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
