Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
