remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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