Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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