sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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