i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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