i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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