omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
