you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize