Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
