He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Randomize
