We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
