can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
