His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
