Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
