OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
