do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
