Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
is that a dick in a sweater?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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