dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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