Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
