So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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