if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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