Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
