apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
