try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
3 2 1 whiskey
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
