i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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