Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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