i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
