And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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