Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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