Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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