I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
