Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
